i am busy right now...it's work related and i am started to feel dormant again... after that revelation yesterday...i felt relieved and realized a lot of things of which i was not aware...i refuse to face this "kryptonite" squarely because i thought i could handle it that way...i thought it will die a natural death, i thought it will fade away. i did manage to process myself...it was difficult but i managed it...thank God!
How i wish we will never cross path again...how i wish that he will be forever forgotten and that he will just be a thing of the past and that he is not worth remembering.
I realized that he did love me the way i loved him...how he took me aside and dumped me the way he did...i was not good enough for him...
he is actually a thorn in the flesh...the thorn that lingered with me for 14 years...it's time for me to be free...i long to be free from this worthless bondage...this bondage that caused me confusion, pain, low self-esteem, and unfocused life for so many years... it has given me doubts about myself...it caused me tears for years... isn't it unfair...?
why do i have to feel this way? i have thought a lot of why we ended that way...and i couldn't find an answer...
i deserve a life... a happy life... a blessed life...because i know God did not abandon me...i know that no matter how filthy this ex thinks about me...it is not my concern to think about it now...for i know that the Lord looks at me special...God shows to favoritism that no matter how blessed this ex may be now... i will be and i am blessed the same way his life is...
life is good...i deserve to be free...i know i am near freedom...i want to say to you who caused me so much pain...YOU ARE FOREVER GONE...YOU WILL SOMEDAY REMEMBER THAT I LOVED YOU AND YOU WILL REGRET THAT YOU BROKE OFF WITH ME...YOU WILL CRY UNTIL THERE IS NO LONGER TEARS...
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