Tell me by side A

this song reminds me of the difficult journey of moving on...trying to forget someone you thought you would end up with...i still vividly remember how he started to say that we were breaking up...at first i thought i could handle those dreaded words, but as i heard him say ..."i'm setting you free, but it's not goodbye..." i felt my world crumbled before me...suddenly i saw things turning gray...as if my world was starting to end...the feeling was so raw that i thought i was ready to die at that moment...the pain pierced my heart so hard...i couldn't even hide how i felt but i tried so hard not to cry and stay as calm as possible in front of him to preserve whatever dignity i still have...i prepared myself for those words he uttered but no matter how prepared i was to face him...no comfort was enough to overcome my grief...the pain was so terrible that i don't even know how to put on a brave front...he was the man of my dreams...the person i would like to share my life with...the person i would like to grow old with...the person i prayed for since i was thirteen...why is he leaving me now?

he told reasons about his decision to break up with me...to absurd and hilarious now as i remember it...he told me "well because of the support thing..." he seems to tell me that it was all my fault...that he was breaking up with me because it was my FAULT! at that time after he said he was giving me freedom...my mind suddenly became a bit hazy that i can't vividly understand what he was talking about...i was so careful about what to say because i may start to cry...all i said at that time was..."yes i understand, it's okay, i can still be your friend, i can assure you of that 100%"...not being too aware about what i was saying because i don't like him seeing me so badly hurt and defeated...honestly i don't know what i was saying...i was uttering words that i no longer understood because i only wanted to be at least "nice" in front of him... i felt defeated...i felt like a looser...HE LEFT ME... i saw him go away...

he never said he fell out of love...i would like to him to tell me the true reasons why it ended...i really thought this love will never end...what have i done? why does it hurt so badly that i thought i died that day...

as i am writing this... i feel the pain i felt then...i was only 21 but a broken person...i don't know my fault of why that so called dream relationship ended... and it ended with a lot of pain...i had a hard time forgiving myself because i lost the most valuable person in the world, the one i treasured the most...i cannot comprehend...I stood beside him to bade him goodbye, i saw him leave and i just can't fathom the emotions i had...i don't know how to cry...to cry in deep pain...

i hope i have forgiven myself...i should...i am moving on ... i realized...he is not worth crying...he is the looser...he never realized how much i could offer him...HE LET GO OF A TREASURE!

GOODBYE in the real sense of the word...